Spontaneous Thursday #5

Ok malam ni banyak perkara sa mau mencarut sini. sblm 2 pesanan penaja, I'll use Sabahan slang ah..

untuk kesekian kali ini, rest in peace to my dear handphone, sorry saya kasi tamat nyawa ko tadi pigi ampas di dinding. memandangkan tida dapat antak kepala di dinding jd handphone juga la jadi mangsa kan. ok, bisuk sa pigi beli smartphone! ko tunggu....

bgn2 ja dari tidur tadi ada suatu perasaan yg sangat pelik mucul. rasa mau burst into tears, rasa gerigitan, rasa mau marah, rasa rimas, gelisah.. eiiii, nda tau la apa ungkapan yg paling sesuai lagi. dan ditambah lagi dengan menerima balasan mesej yang bukan2 memang la bikin panas hati! kalau ada orang di depan sa confirm jadi mangsa cubit. huh!

ok next sa mau bagitau satu dunia yg sa tidak akan balik time cuti Chinese New Year ni. Tahniah vay! mcm pertama kali pula tidak blk cuti sejak2 bermastautin di IP ni. bukan bermaksud sa telampau sayang dgn IP tapi cuti hanya 4 hari??? skolah pun tidak apply cuti peristiwa on Wednesday. pg apply pula cuti yg bukan2. heh! mumy pun cakap nda payah la blk, tiket flight mahal. Mummy suruh pigi sembayang sja di sini. emm yala... ok fine la, lgpun tggl brapa bulan ja lagi stay sini, bagus sa menghayati bumi Tawau ni lama2 kan.. kan? kan? lol. ba sa jadi sekuriti guard Wisma Mawar sepanjang 4 hari ni. ada apa2 kecurian atau masalah terus berhubung saja sama sa. wtf. apala mau bt time cuti ni ah.... mau pigi minta angpow sama tauke cina la.. hekhek. joking! I should go watch some movies dan steamboat maybe untuk kasi gumuk badan.

oya, 1 benda lagi mo kasi tau 1 dunia ni, saya makin kurus!!!

F!~ kurus adalah bida dan skeleton. haha, teringat pula time skolah menengah dulu, classmate slalu  panggil "skeleton2" sbb telampau slim to the max. berat badan 45kg ja time tu. pui bida! nasib la sejak masuk matrikulasi sa pandai membesar sda. lol. dan sekarang sda turun 3 kg pula dlm masa 3 minggu?? kawan2 pun ckp pipi makin cengkung, badan makin slim, dan seluar pun makin longgar.. mungkin sa perlu borong seluar pelbagai saiz supaya ada masa2 buli pakai time kurus ataupun gemuk. le sighing....
oleh itu di kesempatan ini, sa mau ucap terima kasih sama praktikum dan skolah sk. BQ sbb kasi kurus sa..TQ!

dan... ada satu situasi pelik skrg.. sekali lagi mengalami situasi yang berbeza dan tidak jauh bezanya seperti tahun2 sblm ini.. dan sa yakin situasi ini akan berpanjangan smpai la akhir tahun saya di sini. arggghh, damn! 1 pokok banyak dahan. 1 dahan patah, tumbuh lagi dahan baru. dahan lama buruk, reput tapi tidak mau dibakar. sayang tiada pemetik api. peribahasa yang sa cipta sendiri. hahahaha! terpulang la mau tgk diri ni mcm mana. yg ptg x hipokrit. and I know myself. I drink, but I don't do drugs ok. kadang2 sa sensitif sbb sa ni manusia, ada perasaan. everyone has their own imperfection ba kn..so it depends la kalau mau judging someone. tp jan lupa, anda tidak layak menghakimi melainkan Dia.. bla.. bla.. bla.. mode mencarut..

ok sekian terima kasih! :)

Falling slowly ~ my FAREWELL year

Currently listening to this song, Falling slowly by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. I've listen it once before but I totally forget where the sounds came from. 

so fortunately today! I found this song while re-watching Family Outing Season 1 during Lee Chun Hee and Park Hae Jin Farewell episode. and yaa... here it goes again..  it tears me up, thinking that this year will be my FAREWELL YEAR after nearly 4 years stranded in this "not-so-lovely-place" of mine. Although I need to make it through for another 1 year (few months left actually..) but I strongly felt that it's going to end  up soon.
 I mean really soon.
 Now is the end of January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November (the end)
Yea, of course this long teaching-learning journey will come to an end. But why is this feeling come to appear so early???

sobsob =.=' me was just so sensitive..

so here it is.. I love the lyrics..till then, enjoy :)

Dearest FAMILY, I love you!

Turning 2* next month but right now I cry like tomorrow is the end of the world..  *crying baby la sampai tua ni! New year is about start but when I think about leaving my family and rest of the members including my pets really make me down to earth. Why is this feeling strikes too much ah? Seeing mummy and daddy falling asleep at the living rooms just now is like I won’t going to see them for another hundreds years. Damn. I will see them in three months from now ba. but why? why I can’t endure this too much sad feeling ah? Yes, I couldn't agree more. Family is the most important thing in my entire life right now. I can’t wait for this year to end so that I can spend the rest of my life with them before posting next year. Mum and Dad wait for me OK! I promise I will give both of you a better life! I promise!  And to my dearest sister, I hope you will find a job that will suit you. I wish you to have a better life cause you are getting older..hihi~ One more thing, please treat mummy well ah, she complains something about you lately but I remain in silent, just don’t want to drown us in tears..

Precious gift from God :)

Send my regards to the rest of our family members, I love them so much. Please tell them to pray for me, especially for my final battle year. I am so nervous to death right now ni. Don’t know if I can make it to the end or not. Last but not least.. feeds Mico, Possum and Chipii lots of good foods kio, let them getting fat not you. hehe…

Pray for me, pray for my journey..
Let us keep our faith burning in this Year of Faith. Amen.

I love all of you..

Lots of love, ev <3

Do not take someone for granted

Midnight already. feels like wanna write down something unsure in here. But dunno what. ah, hantam saja la. Being more emotional and sensitive lately. iskk! CAUTION : Too much thinking will lead to depression. DANGER!

The atmosphere at home sweet home makes me wanna stay longer here but sadly need to go back to that place on Thursday, sitting for final exams next week (luckily only got 3 papers for this semester. only?? ~.~) and then I'll be back home again soon for my long term holiday... yaa, two weeks later. yihaaa!!!

Rasa macam cuti ini sudah bermula. mimpi! tapi berada di rumah sekarang memang mimpi! ter'balik rumah secara tidak sengaja 'coz one of my 'favourite' Uncle passed away 3 days ago.huhuhu... REST IN PEACE my dear uncle. I believe you are on HIS side right now.  
Ya Bapa, terimalah dengan sukacita ahli keluarga kami yang telah Engkau panggil dan bawalah mereka ke dalam rumahMu. Amen. Yang pergi tidak akan kembali...

Mungkin ini saja coretan?

P/s: Do not take someone or something for granted. Its not yours..

Goodnight earth and creatures :)

sweet dreams dear moon..

THE WORDS SPEAK

I'll think of you

I couldn't say hi to you
Cause I wanted to be held again
Because of you I wanted to cry again

I hurried to the back of the alley and hid
Tears are extravagant
This longing for you is a sin
My head tells my heart
Not to look for you anymore
But I'll think about it again
How could I erase you
Who I liked so much
When this night passes 
and morning comes again
Again, I will face you
It couldn't love
The real love is here
My heart tells my head
That I am loving you from now on
But I'll think about it again
The sounds of falling raindrops
The sounds that dig in my heart
You, who is flowing down along my eyes
I will think of you
I can't my love, I can't forget you
Even if I am born in the next world
I will love you then...

Songs that make me emo #1

P/s: Hit the pause button at the bottom b4 proceed. tQ^^

Seriously, this video clips left a mark in my hearts.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ‘em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo

 ...... this reminds me of how I like this 'someone' who I know will never return my feelings because,,,,,,, 

Even though we talk naturally,

I keep wishing one day he would open his eyes

and show it..

or else not seeing that loving you,

that's what I will trying to do......