Honestly..

We used to be so close...

and now we looked each other like we barely know each other.

I used to come to you with all my secrets..

but a lot has changed this year,

I do not know what's wrong.

Maybe it comes from me.

and it tears me up that somewhere along the way I lost you as a 'bestfriend'. 
"bestfriend ?"

I don't think that things can ever go back to the way we were before,

and I can honestly say that I miss you..  </3
I am sorry..

I'll think of you

I couldn't say hi to you
Cause I wanted to be held again
Because of you I wanted to cry again

I hurried to the back of the alley and hid
Tears are extravagant
This longing for you is a sin
My head tells my heart
Not to look for you anymore
But I'll think about it again
How could I erase you
Who I liked so much
When this night passes 
and morning comes again
Again, I will face you
It couldn't love
The real love is here
My heart tells my head
That I am loving you from now on
But I'll think about it again
The sounds of falling raindrops
The sounds that dig in my heart
You, who is flowing down along my eyes
I will think of you
I can't my love, I can't forget you
Even if I am born in the next world
I will love you then...

Wordless Wednesday #12

<3

Wordless Wednesday #11

~ ! ! ! ! ! ~

Wordless Wednesday #9

Can't take it anymore.

Mixed feelings today.. too much ups and downs this week. I am trying hard to moving on ~.~''

I just hate the fact that there are certain freak human creature who wanna let me down to the bottom of this planet earth. what the hell of your problem with me? why are you so annoying? why cares about others people's life? wtf! Everyday I feels like I wanna cry out loud. Screaming to the whole world. If you don't know the entire story about me, please shut up your fucking mouth! Kenapa suka jadi batu api? kenapa suka buat2 cerita? wanna tell the whole world. Yea, pls do it as you wish! siLa tambah dosa.

And for you. growing up honey! unsatisfied? TELL ME! why stay in a 3D illusion of your world??! TELL ME what's wrong! Tell me what's the problem? don't leave me with uncertainty in my head.. Its totally make me sick! What else should I do to make you speak it out loud? btw, you never tried ACTUALLY. That's why you stuck in your own world. Living with your own prediction. Making your own assumption? Living with what others telling you. and you believe?

I can't take it anymore. Dear God, life is cruel even though I live my life to the fullest. It still cruel to me.. this world is cruel to me. I am still waiting for Your answer. What might it be? I can't stand it anymore. Please send me home or please send me to somewhere else. or maybe I die. *crying out loud*

I know I don't deserve anyone in my life. I shouldn't take life for granted. If you wanna go, its your choice then. Because...who am I to you??????

dear readers.. sorry for this melancholic confession. It's the only way to make me feel a lil bit better..

The truth lies

 

One of the hardest part in life is forcing yourself to forget the things 

that made you happy just because it's over..

 Instead of wishing you were someone else, be proud of who you are,

you never know whose been looking at you and 

wishing they could be you.

The HARDEST task in the world is convincing yourself you don't care, 

when in all actuality, you know with your entire being that you do.

Be proud of every scar on your Heart.

Each one holds a lifetime's worth of lessons.

WHY??

Sitting here thinking..

of the times you've hurt me

wondering why I still miss you

Maybe it's your eyes

the way they make me feel so good inside

or the way you smile

that makes me feel

that I've never been so happy in my life

It's probably just the way you are

a funny, sweet, caring guy

that every girls dreams of

But all the times you hurt me

I just don't understand

why I still love you

because...

I am not supposed to love you anymore, right?

Aku selalu salah

Selalu salah </3 Geisha

Dulu memang kita saling bersama

Ku mengira tulus dalam kata

Tapi kini kamu memang berbeda

Ku terluka untuk selamanya

Caramu yang membuat diriku jauh

Kecewa di dalam hatiku

Ku tak mengerti cinta

Indahnya hanya di awal ku rasa

Mengapa kau benar

Dan aku selalu salah

Kini memang kita saling berpisah

Ku merasa sesal dalam kata

Tapi kini kamu memang bersalah

Kau berubah untuk selamanya

Sifatmu yang membuat diriku jenuh

Mendua di balik mataku

Ku tak mengerti cinta

Indahnya hanya di awal ku rasa

Mengapa kau benar

Dan aku selalu salah

Ku tak mengerti dia

Cinta ini bukan hanya kau yang rasa

Ternyata dia bukanlah pujaan dalam hatiku

Ku tak mengerti cinta

Indahnya hanya di awal ku rasa

Mengapa kau benar

Dan aku selalu salah

Ku tak mengerti dia

Cinta ini bukan hanya kau yang rasa

Ternyata dia bukanlah pujaan dalam hatiku

Ku tak mengerti cinta

" It's funny how we feel so much but we don't say a word,

we are screaming inside but we can't be heard"

Songs will tell

I love hearing a song I never heard before, noticing the lyrics are good, then Google for the artist, the title and next searching for it on You tube. Then I will see exactly what the lyrics say and how much I can relate to it. And yea! I'll enjoy the song so much more if the lyrics have a deep personal meaning in my life. I am not sure with you but in my thoughts, songs bring back a lot of memories from down the years too, whether its bitter or sweet. So relating a song to an event, time or a person especially could mean a lot if you hear the song again in 2, 3, 5 or 10 years time. It'll reminds you of it again.

I always found a great songs and lyrics from the girl in the pictures that I can relate to.

Well, pity you if you don't know her. YES! She is AVRIL RAMONA LAVIGNE. So far, it seems like every words in her songs is talking about my ups and down of life. And that's why I love her from the very beginning when her first album "LET GO" released. Her fourth album, GOODBYE LULLABY just released early this year and a big thanks to Mr. Sam Winchester for the full album! Most of the songs in her latest album was much more personal than the earlier records, with AVRIL describing the album as "more stripped down, deeper and very emotional." Well, I guess she knows what am I feeling right now and that's why she wrote the song all by herself.

Currently listening to these songs from her latest album and for sure 

the lyrics are awesome!

.....hye..do you know this feeling? When you realize that you lose somebody.. you lost this person in your heart. Because he/she forgot you. There was no officially Goodbye. Suddenly it feels like you and this person are strangers... hurm.

Saying: "When a girl asks a guy to listen a song, it's because the lyrics are all the words she's afraid to say."

A message to Heart

Dear heart..

I know I've been hard on you

I am sorry for the things I put you through

Please don't you break on me

I need to make you see

It wasn't meant to be

Give it time

Help me through

Heart..

We can do this together

You are my soul

I need you now more than ever

Because you will always be inside of me

So keep on hangin' in

And we'll find love again.

1st Year Anniversary

"Happy 1st Year Anniversary of being SINGLE, dear ELVY"

I am glad I come to this journey of life and I appreciate this relationship status so far.. 

I knew I've made the right decision a year ago. By the way, single life isn't too bad but it is terrible to be alone sometimes. Even though I have my precious Family, Cats and Bestfriends by my side, I do hope to have a right one sharing my life and hope that I will not have a chance to write about my 2nd year anniversary of being SINGLE.. *hahaha.l.a.m.e*

 I Still Can Enjoy This LIFE As Much As I wanted It To BE Because LIFE Is too Beautiful To Be Wasted!!!!

^______^

F.R.A.G.I.L.E

~F.R.A.G.I.L.E~

I love a boy without a heart, 

                                   I'm nothing but a string in his guitar,

He'll never know that I'm in pain,

I'm waiting for a song that he can't play,

It was beautiful the day we met but now I am not sure, 

It's like a piece of bubblegum, 

Sweeter at first but it don't last that long,

I'm filled with insecurities,

I am fragile.

From strangers to?

Describe this picture...

Strangers ---->> Friends ---->> Close friends ---->> Crush ---->> Relationship ---->> Heartbroken ---->> Strangers

.

.

.

.

.

So, from

* Strangers --->> strangers ?

or

* Strangers --->> just friends ?

or

* Strangers --->> happy ending marriage ?

Who's gonna fix u?

There’s a story behind every person. 
There’s a reason why they’re the way they are.
They are not just like that because they want to. 
Something in the past created them, 
And it’s not a matter of what can fix it, but who??

DON'T!!

One day when you’re happy with
Your life and just enjoying it..

You receive one unexpected text...

Maybe by this time you’ve already

Forgotten his number or maybe not..

And it will be 'HIM', wanting to 'TALK'..

Wait, hold up...

Remember all those tears you shed, while he shed none...

Remember all those melodramatic pick up lines..

Remember the hurts..

Look at how happy you are now..

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

DON'T ANSWER THE TEXT!

P/S: We can fall for anyone who treats us

     special but make sure, at the end we 

     know our way home to the one who treats 

     us as their life. (peringatan utk diri 

     sendiri dan sesama kita. PEACE!)